I really have problems. I have become so wrapped up. I like, want, and value so much about him. Can't think of much else.

I was asked questions tonight in talk with a friend. They asked me what I wanted in my future, What I live for, What I WANT to live for. I had no real answers. What i wanted? Well, all I could think was, "give plasma tomorrow for money" long term , they clarified. I couldn't think. What do I live for? Blank... all I could think was... a hot shower, the escape from it all. And lastly, what I want to live for... well, I knew I wanted to live for good things... for any reason really.

Truth is, I've lost sight of what "I" want and need. I have lost reasons to get up. Things to live for. I used to live for him but now even that is gone. Nothing mine is going well and nothing going well is mine.

I must organize and reconcile these jumbled thoughts.

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